Today’s piece is a guest post by Susan Mazza.
My husband and I were talking the other day about our choice to move to Florida 6 years ago. Things certainly have not gone according to plan. We have faced challenges we never imagined. And for a few moments we found ourselves talking about how things might have been had we just stayed where we were. Well that pretty much sucked the air out of the room! Of course that conversation came from that nagging little voice in our minds that tends to focus on what we did not accomplish that we had planned for and anticipated as well as laments our mistakes.
Fortunately that conversation lasted for only about 5 minutes. We noticed what we were doing and reminded each other that we have no idea what life would look like right now had we stayed or what it would have been like along the way. In an instant our conversation shifted, and so did our mood. We started talking about all the wonderful unexpected things we have accomplished, how much more time we have both had with our daughter, how much we have learned and grown, how much we love where we live and how well our life works here.
Have there been disappointments and unfulfilled expectations? Absolutely. Yet if we could turn back the clock would we want to choose to do it differently? Or would we choose to move back now? The answer to both is a resounding NO!
Why? Because we are at work on fulfilling our dreams and we are truly enjoying our journey.
Because despite the fact that we are not where we expected or hoped to be at this point, in so many ways we are that much closer to the future we want. We experience great satisfaction from living life on our terms and are grateful for all that we have now. It is not always easy, but there is incredible joy and freedom in choosing to live the life you want to live.
One of the best parts of our choice is this: we will never say “what if?”.
We will never regret not going for it or wonder what might have been. In the words of Lucille Ball: “I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not.”
Since I am passionate about supporting people in living lives they love and doing work they love, I want to challenge you to consider this question:
Are you daring to go for your dream?
Every moment we get to choose whether we will take action to create the future we want or to continue on with the life we already have. We can perpetuate the story in our minds and with the people in our lives of how we got to where we are, why things are the way they are and why they can’t be the way we really want them to be. Or we can choose this moment as the fork in the road and start living the story of how we are at work on manifesting our dreams.
One last thought…”A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.” Yiddish Proverb
It is NEVER to late to go for your dreams. I met a 73 year old woman who was in medical school. She was one of the happiest, most youthful people I have ever encountered.
So what about you? Are you living a life you love? If so, what wisdom can you share? If not, what is getting in the way of you living your dream?
Susan is a motivational speaker, leadership coach, trainer and business consultant. With her unique understanding of people as well as human systems – and an unquenchable thirst to unlock potential of individuals and organizations – she has worked successfully with thousands of people and with many types and sizes of organizations around the world. She lives in Vero Beach, Florida with her husband, daughter and 2 dogs. You can learn more about Susan by visiting her blog, Random Acts of Leadership.
Susan, It is so exciting when I read something that I have been thinking about. I love your story and the "no regrets." I have made a few bold choices that led me to places I did not originally anticipate. Those new experiences have opened up new doors that I had not imagined. Is it easier to play it safe? I am not sure. I think in the end it is more more exciting to take those bold leaps of faith and ultimately we will be happier. It reminds me of a Harry Chapin story. In it he describes his grandfather talking about the difference of a hard tired and a good tired. If during the day you fight hard and win, but you win other peoples battles, It is a hard tired. But, even if you lose, if you fight hard on your own battles, for your own dreams, it is a good tired. It is my hope that the people in my life will keep their hopes and dreams alive and sleep well with a good tired. Thank you Susan!
I love your challenge of the notion that it is easier to play it safe Richard. Perhaps that is a myth that is reinforced by the point that you can be "hard tired or good tired". And it is of course good to know I am in great company!
Hi Susan,
When I was very young, I had many dreams. I dreamed of undertaking practically every occupation available to humankind, (except medicine and accounting). I rather fell, (although happily), into my career, which paid me well and taught me many useful things. For a while, I stopped dreaming. I did not consider it a particularly useful occupation. I’ve learned that dreaming on its own is only half of the equation. The other half is focus and work. That ‘s what brings the dream alive.
My life to date has not turned out as I dreamed. There have been many years that have been so much better and some that I have found hard…just like everyone else I suspect.
What I know for sure is, that right now, I am where I am supposed to be and there is something very good about that. For me, dreams are useful guidelines. I have some that are yet to be fulfilled but that means that I still have work to do. I still get to be part of the human race, growing and learning along with everyone else. I find the prospect intriguing. And, perhaps, as they say, the best is yet to come.
Thank you for making me think. You have a knack for doing that. It’s a good thing 🙂
"Chase your passion, not your pension and the money will follow." Denis Waitley
Susan:
Read these words of wisdom years ago. It has and remains my mantra. A few things: 1.) I am still waiting for the money part of the equation to kick in – hee, hee…. But Denis never addressed the fun part. 2.) Denis turned out to be a fraud. Bummer!
This is such a great post, Susan. I agree that it is so important keep your focus on your dream.
When working in Corporate America as a human resources manager and internal organizational development consultant for fifteen years, it was my dream to start my own business, and do motivational speaking and consulting. But I was too scared. I had the security of a paycheck, great benefits, and great colleagues in a progressive, fun company.
Leaving that in 1995 was the scariest thing I ever did. And the best. Have there been rocky times? Of course. Have there been times I've considered getting a "real job?" Most certainly. But I've held steadfast to the dream I had of speaking, and helping as many people as I can. Besides, at this point in my life, after 15 years of having my own company, I think I'm "psychologically unemployable."
Here are a few lessons I've learned from my studying this topic over the years:
It's critical to know what you want. Know what your dream is. Dream big. Don't hold yourself back thinking your dream is too big and you can't have it.
Once you're clear on what it is, visualize it, marinate in it, feel it, embrace it, claim it. See yourself living the life you want. Imagine your day clearly from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. Where will you wake up? What will you do first? How will you spend your day? Who will you be hanging with? Do this every single day.
Take the first step toward that dream. You might not know how to get there from here, but you can generally figure out the first step. Do that. It's like driving at night with you headlights on. Do the part you can see. The rest will be revealed as you get there.
Stay clear about the "what," and be amazed as the "how" seems to show up.
My hope for each of Tanveer's readers is that you take Susan's post to heart, and let it be a catalyst to live your own dream!
Thanks Jim for your comment.
The mantra is great despite the source…unfortunately it makes it all seem so easy!
You got me thinking…I've had a similar mantra: do what you love and the money will come. It worked a lot easier when I was choosing jobs than when I had to figure out how to create and run a business on my own. The what you don't know you don't know can really get ya!
At times I have chosen work i didn't particularly love along the journey to pay the bills, but given how much better and more enjoyable my whole life was that was an easy choice because i knew it was a step on the path to the whole picture coming together.
My work today is one of my main passions yet it has taken quite a bit of learning, growth and change to get the whole equation lining up to match my vision – freedom, relationships, income, well being to name a few. It is only when I take a step back and really look sometimes that I can see just how far we have come.
For what it's worth my biggest movement forward on the biz side came from learning two things and acting on them – invest in the training I needed and ask for help.
May the money you need and desire begin to flow and support you in living a life you love! And I do hope you are enjoying the ride.
Gwyn, you remind us that dreams are not places to get to. In fact in the end success and satisfaction in life is not based whether life turns out exactly as we planned. Yet when we allow ourselves to dream and aspire we do provide ourselves with a wonderful guide for our growth and our choices. One thing is for sure – the path will likely not be a straight line!
Another key point is this: dreams and goals aren't the same thing. A very dear friend of mine Stephen Shapiro went around the country interviewing highly successful people in many walks of life to discover the secrets to success. To his surprise he ended up writing a book called Goal Free Living. Here's a link for anyone interested .
Ava, thanks so much for sharing your story and your words of wisdom!
I especially love this…Stay clear about the “what,” and be amazed as the “how” seems to show up.