Yet Another Breastfeeding Controversy – Here We Go Again
Well, it’s the start of the new year and I can’t think of a better way to dive back in here than to tackle that heated, controversial topic . . . breastfeeding. It seems every couple of months, we hear of a news item about a nursing mom who was asked to leave a store, shopping mall or restaurant because she had the nerve (insert sarcastic tone here) to breastfeed her child in public. Oh, the horror! Of course, this being the 21st century, we now don’t have to settle for such infantile behaviour occurring in the real world; now we see it being brought onto the internet, thanks to social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook deeming pictures of nursing mothers as “pornographic” and “obscene”. Excuse me a minute while I pick my jaw up from the floor.
Well, thankfully, breastfeeding moms are not taking this lying down. Kelli Roman is one of several women who have had pictures they posted of themselves breastfeeding their child removed from their Facebook page and being given the cursory explanation that the site doesn’t allow images that are “obscene, pornographic or sexually explicit” in nature. Roman’s response to this censorship was to start a new Facebook group called “Hey, Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene!“, a group that today has a membership of over 97 000 Facebook users.
Now, I’ve read how some of these pictures were removed by Facebook and MySpace on account of other members citing them as violating the site’s Terms of Service in regards to the posting of inappropriate images. So after some digging around the Net, I was able to find an example of one of these pictures that ended up being banned by Facebook just this past week on December 28, 2008 because it was deemed “pornographic” and/or “offensive”.
Wow. This is what Facebook thinks is offensive or pornographic? As a father whose children were breastfed, I have to say I’m personally offended that anyone would think such a scene would be considered pornographic. Fortunately, my wife and I in all the times she breastfed our children in public were never assaulted with glares from other patrons or worse, putting up with the arrogance of a stranger telling us that what she was doing was offensive (we still were subjected to people telling us how to raise our child, as if we should blindly accept the word of a total stranger. But that’s another story). But sadly, other families who breastfed their child in public have not been granted this respect, both in the real world and now apparently on the internet. Yes, that’s right – respect. Oh sure, I’ve read all the complaints against breastfeeding and how it’s being pushed on others to have to see. But here’s the reality – if a woman nursing her child makes you uncomfortable, guess what – just don’t look. It really is that simple. Besides, I think most women would agree that while they have no problem breastfeeding their child in public, they would appreciate our granting them the courtesy and respect of not gawking at them while they do it. So, for those of you who think it is offensive and/or disrespectful for a woman to breastfeed in public, imagine they’re the sun in the sky and as you do with the real one, you don’t stare at it.
While that solution would handle the problem mothers who breastfeed in public face over the short-term, there still remains the larger issue of why this would even be considered offensive or pornographic in the first place. The reason for that is quite simple, if not rather obvious – our society is still under the rule of social domination by men and as men view the female breast as a sexual object, it collectively makes us as a society uncomfortable to see a woman using her breast for what it was intended – to provide nourishment to her child. In various parts of Europe, Asia, and Africa, such sexist notions don’t prevail as men are perfectly comfortable with the dual role this part of the female anatomy has. But in North America, such acceptance of the biological realities of the female breast have yet to take hold and as such, women are still being subjected to this form of sexual discrimination on account of the discomfort of men and yes, some women. After all, how many times have you seen anyone complain about obese men walking around the city streets or at the beach without a shirt on as being obscene? I’m sure many of us wished we had the nerve to tell these men how we all could do without seeing their version of the sagging human breast. Funny how that lack of courage dissipates when we see a breastfeeding mother in public. That alone is proof that discrimination against women is still a part of this society and now, it’s making its way into how we interact with others in the virtual world of the internet as well. So much for the progressive, ‘enlightened’ Western world.
Of course, there’s an interesting, sociological component to this story about the realities of social-networking sites and communication among people from different countries/cultures. But I’ll feature that in a follow-up entry to this piece in the next few days since that’s a fascinating topic in its own right.
Until then, I strongly encourage all MySpace users to sign the petition started by several MySpace users demanding that MySpace revise its Terms of Service agreement to recognize the reality that a woman breastfeeding her baby is no where in the same leagues as pictures one would expect to find in Playboy. The link to that petition can be found here (NOTE: This petition can only be signed by MySpace members):
Breastfeeding Pictures on MySpace Petition
I’d also encourage all Facebook users to join Kelli Roman’s Facebook group “Hey, Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene!” at this link here:
Hey, Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene!(Official petition to Facebook)
It’s about time North America grows up from seeing a woman’s breast as being only a sexual object and realize that it’s also an important aspect of motherhood and the bond between a mother and her child.
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I actually disagree with you, but in the nicest way.
It's not that the rest of the world accepts biological realities and we don't, it's that North Americans have been conditioned over a VERY short period of time (the past 50-60 years) that nursing was first something that only poor people did (those who were not able to afford the best 'scientific' formula,) and therefore breast feeding wasn't done by polite women. That emphasis on scientific parenting coincided with the post-WWII obsession with breasts, and the new marketing efforts by the formula companies, to create a culture that stuffed nursing into the closets and behind drapes.
Prior to the 1950s women nursed EVERYWHERE in North America, from bus stations, the side of the road, in church, at the store, you name it, and it was as unremarkable as eating a Popsicle in public.
That's why it's so astounding–our parents and grandparents nursed and were nursed in public before there was such a construction as 'nursing in public.'
We have to get back to the way we used to be, the way the rest of the world already is (biological norms.)
Hello Azucar,
Well, I wouldn't say that we disagree; merely that you're pointing out that our society wasn't so narrow-minded when it came to the concept of women breastfeeding in public 50-odd years ago whereas I'm discussing more the here and now. After all, it's natural that social values/norms/whatever you wish to categorize it as change over time. Unfortunately, in this case, it seems that we've taken a few steps back instead of forward.
And thank you for coming by to shed some light on how our society was logically indifferent to the sight of a woman breastfeeding her child in public. I strongly believe that we shouldn't be so arrogant to think that as a society, we've evolved to the point that we can't learn anything valuable from humanity's collective past – whether it's 50 years ago or 5 000 years ago (view my entry here regarding the connection between Ramses II and Olympic medal tallies for some proof of that).
So I guess I'll have to disagree with your statement that we disagree, but also in the nicest way. And I'll also thank you for helping to educate others on the sociological history of this issue.
Thanks for coming by and commenting on the post at MOMformation.com. That day I had just turned to my husband and said that I find the argument "I don't want my husband to look at that" so funny. Do people think the site of a baby nursing at a (probably stretchmarked and partially concealed) breast is going to incite an unquenchable lust in their husbands that will drive these men to…what? adultery? something worse?
How insulting to their husbands!
Anyway, I don't think it is really sexism so much as we've just been cut off from our bodies and the natural rhythms of things. It seems to be mostly women who go on the attack whenever the issue is brought up. And it is often women's groups that bring on waves of prudishness…although one could argue it is internalized sexism.
In this case, I think in the 70s, many educated women believed that breastfeeding tied them to their roles as moms and so, chose not to breastfeed in a misguided form of feminism. That, coupled with a belief that science (feeding formula) would provide better options, contributed to the idea your other commenter raised that breastfeeding was for the uneducated.
Anyway, thank you for adding a male and dad perspective to the mix of comments!
You're right that it seems that it's mostly women who mobilize in force to debate both sides of this issue, which is kind of sad since breastfeeding is a part of child-rearing and it'd be nice to see more fathers getting involved in this instead of viewing it as a "woman's issue".
I do adhere to my viewpoint that this is an issue of sexism because it's not just how women view the female breast, but men as well that influence this notion of a woman exposing her breast to feed her child as being "offensive". The fact that some women, as you pointed out, are saying outright that they don't want their husbands exposed to such a scene is indicative of a collective inability in both men and women to see the female breast as anything but sexual. And you're right – it is insulting to all husbands
In any case, I'm more than happy to throw a dad's perspective into this discussion. I just hope more fathers will come and participate in such discussions in the near future since it is important if we are to make any movement on overcoming this silly hang-up.
And thank you for coming by here to add some additional perspectives and food for thought on this subject.
Someone should consult with Zuckerberg’s mom on this.