Thanks for the comment and I’m glad you’re enjoying this topic as well. With more and more studies showing a rise in the use of social networking sites across all demographic ranges, it would be very interesting to see what impact, if any, is being had on real-life relationships.

I agree with you Martin that the salient point all users of such sites need to recognize is that with so much information and discussions going on, it’s easy to have yours get lost in the crowd. The other problem I see is that often such sites encourage the impression of an immediate response, especially Twitter where people need to be online at the same time as you to catch your tweet. As these sites become more and more popular, hopefully people will not only remember the context under which these sites are used, but also the manner in which they work.

Hi David,

Thanks for joining in on the conversation. Although I can’t answer your first question since I obviously don’t know the answer, it is a vital question that any user of social networking sites should ask themselves to have a more realistic impression of those who are in their online communities and what they can honestly expect from them.

And your right that it’s asking a lot for the hundreds or thousands of people who are in our online communities to keep track of every single thing we say or do; after all, aren’t they following another couple of hundred or thousand people as well? But I think as I wrote above this is because of the nature of social networking sites having this self-centric basis some people tend to not do the math in terms of what they expect of others. Even if these relationships are based only online, they still need to mirror those of the real world, where there’s an equal focus on both parties and not simply us.

Regardless, like you, I’ve benefited from fostering real friendships with some of the people I’ve met online, even having several migrate into the real world. It’s thanks to social media that I’ve met these people and still have the opportunity to engage and interact with them on an almost semi-regular basis.

I like your idea that what social-networking sites do offer is an “extra bonus” of relationships to our lives. And yet, with a recent poll done by The New York Times showing that 45% of adults are now checking these sites first thing in the morning (as opposed to *gasp* making a cup of coffee ), I can’t help but wonder if we won’t start seeing a blurring of the lines between our perception of real-world, tangible relationships and ones online that are more nebulous and as you mentioned “temporary” in nature. Guess we have front row seats to finding that out.

Thanks again Martin and David for the great comments and for contributing to this excellent discussion.

I agree with Alain – the level of connectedness varies by network but also how you behave, respond, react to situations where a virtual hug may be needed.

With so much information streaming through, it's normal that even when a someone reaches out through social media channels, it has a high likelihood of getting lost in the noise. Although you may be one of the person that will truly care no matter what as Jackie mentioned, should missing that tweet or update be seen as being uncaring? I hope not.

Thank you for that fantastic comment. I think one thing that people cannot fake, at least for very long, is how authentic they are in their interactions with others. And certainly honestly caring about others will manifest itself on the various social networking sites, regardless of their focus. For example, someone who’s invested in helping others won’t hesitate to aid someone get into contact with a potential client or business resource on LinkedIn just as they won’t flinch to send out a word of encouragement on Twitter if someone posted news of the passing of one of their loved ones.

However, we do have to recognize the context under which the majority of people use these various sites. While it’s not hard to see people sharing news of a personal nature on Facebook or Twitter, such content on LinkedIn might not get users the desired response or reputation. While there’s nothing to prevent us from lending a helping hand to others on any of these social networking sites, the manner in which we do so is invariably subject to both the nature of the site and the kinds of relationships we’ve fostered on them.

Thanks again, Jackie, for the great comment and adding to this wonderful discussion.

The answer to your question in this post goes beyond the semantics of the “connectedness-capacity” of different networks…

Christians will be aware of the Parable of the Samaritans…

“A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’ “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

Most people won’t care beyond the superciality of a connection. In social media. In life. When someone asks you: How do you do? Does he really care? It’s a me-me world. This may sound cynical but it’s a realistic view of life.

What matters is that some people will care no matter what, where and when.

I agree that it is key when interacting on any social networking site to get a good lay of the land, of what kinds of interactions can be expected with the other users of the site. And I think you’re ‘definitions’ of the various popular ones is spot on.

Regardless, I think it’s important that we create clear objectives/goals for what we want to accomplish being on these social network sites so that we not only remain consistent on what we contribute to these sites, but also what we hope to gain by being a member of these online communities.

Thanks again, Alain, for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this.

Even if ou have a caring personality to start with…The level of “connectedness” varies from one site to the other. And the time spent on each contact can impair our sense of caring. Plus most people don’t want to get intrusive

For me, I’d say that they work like this
(some of my friend have a totally opposite perspectove)

Twiiter=overview, quick and unless I personally(exchanged a few DM, getting to know the person over and above our reason for tweeting) know the individual I won’t get personal

LinkedIn= More in depth but more distant, more business. I would even feel ill-at-ease if someone would talk bout something else than business

Facebook=With the privavcy setting and the FB mail, it happened more than once that a bunch of friend came sround to support another on the platform. But those contact were build virtually AND offine, thru time therefore more akin to a real friendship