Last week, Mike Myatt wrote an interesting post on the differences between flattery and praise. After reading his piece, I got to thinking about this subject in terms of how leaders communicate and guide their teams, and the impact these comments can have on their employees.

Perhaps the best known story regarding the downsides of flattery is Aesop’s fable “The Fox and the Crow”, where a fox comes upon a crow perched on a tree branch, holding a piece of cheese in its beak. Eager to have that piece of cheese, the fox calls out to the crow and starts to flatter the bird about how attractive it is and how it must have the most beautiful voice of all the birds. The fox asks the crow to sing a song so that the fox could enjoy its beautiful voice.

The crow, caught up in the flattering remarks being given by the fox, opens up its mouth and lets out a squawk, causing the cheese to fall from its mouth down to the ground where it’s snatched up by the fox. As the fox walks off with the cheese, he tells the crow “Do not trust flatterers”.

This is often the most common viewpoint on the issue of leadership and flattery, of how it can cause leaders to lose their perspective by getting caught up in seeking the adulation of others, instead of ensuring that they are effectively leading their team.

While leaders can be susceptible to falling prey to flattery like the crow in the story above, the other issue that’s not as often discussed is the problem of leaders communicating flattery to their employees instead of praise as a means to keep their team engaged, or worse manipulating them into doing their bidding.

When we encourage others through flattery, it’s not because we’re driven to Click here to continue reading »”Do You Lead Others Through Flattery or Praise?”

Throughout our lives, we receive all sorts of criticism, some valid and some that are simply meant to pull us down. And yet, for many of us, the worst criticism we face is not external; instead, it’s those comments we make to ourselves that question our ability to succeed or receive recognition from those around us. Consider, for example the following comments:

“No one is going to listen to me.”

“This isn’t going to work.”

“I hope they don’t hate it.”

“I don’t deserve all this attention.”

On the surface, these comments seem fairly harmless, which is probably why many of us have said it either out loud or inwardly to ourselves. However, the problem is that such comments can not only have a negative impact on how we see ourselves, but also in how we present our abilities to others.

To give this a proper frame of reference, consider the examples of business leaders Jack Welch and Ursula Burns. When they attain the goal they set out to reach, their response is Click here to continue reading »”How To Put A Stop To Negative Self-Talk”

Image courtesy of Jim Tsinganos

Have you ever found yourself saying these things -

“This isn’t going to work.”

“I don’t deserve this attention.”

“I hope they don’t hate it.”

“No one is going to listen to me.”

On the surface, these comments seem fairly harmless, which is probably why many of us have said it either out loud or inwardly to ourselves. However, the problem is that such comments can not only have a negative impact on how we see ourselves, but also in how we present our abilities to others.

To give this a proper frame of reference, consider the examples of business leaders Jack Welch and Ursula Burns. When they attain the goal they set out to reach, their response is not one of boasting or grandstanding over the accomplishment. Instead, they merely view it as being a given outcome for the efforts they helped their organization to attain.

Similarly, when things don’t go the way they wanted it to, there’s no put-downs or dismissive remarks, that they were being too ambitious or over-extending themselves. Rather, the talk is more about trying to figure out what went wrong and what they can do to address the problem so that they can get back on course.

In these cases, we see that it’s not just a matter of how they view themselves; it’s also a result of Click here to continue reading »”Learning To Master Your Inner Voice”

This week I wanted to look at how our perspective in approaching a project or task can dramatically affect our ability to complete the work. In the first post looking at this concept, I demonstrated how striving for perfection, as opposed to aiming to make things better, is actually counter-productive as it limits the perspective to our own experiences.

Of course, there’s another factor that can impact our motivation and subsequent productivity in taking on an idea or fostering some form of change. In this case, I’m referring to those instances when we view these opportunities as something that’s “too difficult to implement” or which “we lack the resources to pursue” and subsequently, we end up doing nothing about it. As I’ll show in this piece, what we need in these cases is to re-adjust our perspective from one where we’re facing a single issue or challenge, into one where we tackle the individual parts of the problem. This will create an environment where we gain concrete, visible results that will help us push forward with the process. Click here to continue reading »”How to Transform Problems Into Wins”