Recently, I was invited by Alvin Mitchell, who runs the website All-swagga.com, to talk about what I think it means being a father in today’s world. As I’ve shared through my writings (if not the design of my website), being a father is very important to me and so I was more than happy to talk about fatherhood and being a man in his “5 Minute Interview” series.

I’d like to thank Alvin for asking me to participate in his series and for giving me a chance to talk about another one of my greatest passions – that of being a parent.

You can read this short interview where I share my thoughts on being a father and manhood by clicking here.

The following is a guest piece by this month’s guest blogger, Roberta Hill. Roberta “complains” she has too many fingers in too many pies. It seems the older she gets the more interests she discovers.  Lately she has been calling herself a digital nomad.  She writes three blogs, runs an online assessment business and maintains a coaching practice. In her real life, parenting is her recent challenge. She tells me, it is the most worthwhile, time consuming and difficult role she has ever assumed.  You can read more of her insights on leadership and personal development on her blog.

While the focus on leadership is important, it is my opinion that good management is a lost skill in “Corporate America”. This may be a reflection on the well being of our family structure as well. Leadership is an interesting topic and since taking on the role of a parent, I have found that the family is the best microcosm of larger corporate organizations.

I have always considered myself a pretty good manager and by association tend to assume I am a good leader. Don’t misunderstand me; I do recognize the difference. I stepped out of the corporate world years ago and my formal role of managing others ended. Since then, I have been the Chair on a few non-for-profit boards. I have coordinated large projects with consultants. I coach executives on how to be global leaders. Surely I know how to lead! Looking at how well I parent, I often wonder.

In my family, I organize, plan, control and direct.¹ I use my power effectively and I balance coercion, reward, position and even informational influence. Things get done. However, I am not sure I inspire my children. I can motivate then to do what I think needs doing; but not sure I fully engage them. Am I stuck in the sixties? Am I a good manager but not a modern leader?

I am a strong believer that Click here to continue reading »”Do You Manage or Lead? Look to Your Family Role”

[Allashua Painting by Vladyana Krykorka, "A Promise is a Promise" - Robert Munsch and Michael Kusugak]

Of all the bedtime stories I’ve read to my kids, one of their favourites has to be Robert Munsch’s “A Promise Is A Promise”, the tale of a Innuit girl named Allashua who learns about the importance of keeping a promise.  My girls love this book not only for the story told therein, but also because of how it has carried forth into their own lives.

You see, after I read this story to my kids, whenever I would tell them “I promise”, I’d follow that promise by saying “and remember, a promise is a promise”.  I did this because I wanted them to appreciate that this particular word carried a special meaning, that it was something significant.  I wanted them to understand that saying “I promise” meant that no matter how tired I was, or how busy I was, or whoever asked me for my help with something, I would honour my word to them that we would do what I had promised before anything else.

I also made sure they noted how those times where I wasn’t sure I could promise something that I’d only say “We’ll see” so they could truly appreciate that when I promised them something, it was as good as done.  Now I only have to say “I promise” and if it’s something they really want, they’ll reply “and Papa, a promise is a promise”, reminding me that I had given them my word.

Of course, keeping your word is something that is very important Click here to continue reading »”A Promise Is A Promise”

A few weeks ago, I watched a movie on TV with my family that got me thinking about the issues of self-esteem that young girls and women face. Interestingly enough, this train of thought wasn’t brought about by the movie; instead, it had more to do with the main sponsor of the film – Dove, the personal care products brand. Instead of simply airing commercials, Dove presented short segments at each commercial break that featured mothers and daughters talking about ideas or activities they do to feel good about who they are and how they look. As a man, I have to admit I found these conversations reasserted the notion of men and women being from different planets, the ideas and concepts verging almost on being alien in nature. But as a father of young girls, I found the mere idea that such measures were useful or even necessary for improving self-esteem in girls, as well as women, troubling to say the least. And yet, the idea that caught my mind’s eye most was not so much the message, but the messenger itself.

I’m sure everyone has seen examples of Dove’s recent ad campaign “The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty“, which essentially presents the idea that all women are beautiful in their own way. It’s a great message of self-esteem and empowerment and their ads certainly put forth a compelling case. To wit, Dove produced an advertisement called “Evolution” which helped to demonstrate how fabricated those images of alluring models on billboards actually are – Click here to continue reading »”Why Self-Esteem Shouldn’t Come From A Bottle”